20 May What is “discounting” ?
When we feel powerless and act as though we have no choice and no way ahead, we are in fact “discounting” some information that actually contains the solution.
It’s a way of (often unconsciously) justifying that we are stuck- it’s a story we make up for ourselves and to the rest of the world.
There are different ways in which we remain stuck when we discount (for example, by doing nothing, or by being anxious), but the one that caught my attention was “Overadaptation”
because I could tell that this was my “favorite” way of being stuck in a bad situation in my past.
I suffered in the situation I was in, and yet I stayed.
I overadapted to very poor living conditions when I worked in Africa for one year,
I overadapted to a job that was boring AF,
I overadapted to an emotionally abusive partner who kept on making overtly sexual comments to other women.
When we over adapt, we act as we are expected to act, and we justify our behavior in some ways by making the situation less dramatic than it is.
In fact, we are aware that there is a problem, but we discount its importance for us,
we discount how bad we feel,
and that we have options to get out of the situation.
What can we do instead?
If something is making us miserable, we need to question whether we are “overadapting” because of fear of the consequences of either changing the situation or leave it.
Are you doubting yourself over a situation that has been lingering on and that doesn’t seem to change?
Have you ever paused and though “what’s the worst thing that can happen”?
I am sure you have.
But what about pausing one more time and wondering:
What’s the best thing that can happen?